Some people will honor you, and others will not.
Last night I was with a group of women that honored one another, and me. Honestly, can I tell you, it messed me up? So much LOVE.
I go to a lot of churches to paint. Some churches are so honoring, not just to me, but to everyone…and honestly, other churches have treated me like dirt. Talking down to me, ordering me around, being rude and condescending…etc.
One leader’s wife came to me in private, and apologized, because they had mistreated me horribly, and right in front of the whole group. When I went to tell her, how I felt about what she had done, she clamped her hand over my mouth forcefully. She would not even let me express myself.
Yes, I have stories. Some places I cry when I leave, because I don’t want to go, and others I cry because…well…because my heart is broken from the lack of love and honor in that “church.”
All my life I have had a deficit of honor. I was not honored as a child, and learned to allow myself to be dishonored by others. I repeated this pattern all my life. Once I got saved, I figured it was just my “condition” for being prophetic and called of God. But, now, I am not so sure. I have been healed recently from some deep roots of self hatred, planted when I was just a child; and since I have been set free, I realized, I should be treated with honor. Every person should have that. Not because I am special…or I deserve it. But, because I am a daughter of the King of KINGS. AND the precious, beautiful, amazing Holy Spirit lives INSIDE of me.
One thing that is so amazing about God…is He will honor His servants. So many times, people have dishonored me, mocked me, made fun of me, belittled me…
Time and time again He would honor me to that very same person. I did not have to do a SINGLE thing except keep my heart pure; forgive that person, and release the situation to Him. THEN He would honor me in ways that would cause me to fall prostrate on the floor and cry out…worshiping HIM with all my heart. Undone by His GRACE! Once I asked Him, “why do you honor me, Lord?” and He just said, because “you honor Me.”
I see so many women that allow themselves to be dishonored. Yesterday I was thinking about Rachel, and how Jacob was willing to work for her all those years. I was saying in my Spirit, “Lord, where are the men willing to work for a woman today?” And then I had the thought, “where are the women that KNOW they are worth working for?” So many women allow themselves to be so dishonored, and it just grieves me…and I know it grieves God too.
Lord, make us people of love and honor I pray. That we would love and honor ourselves, and others. But most of all, we would love and honor you as the King of Kings, because it is only because of you that we are worthy to be honored and loved!!!!
It makes me think of David. He was so dishonored by his family, so much so, they did not even bring him before Samuel. They mocked and belittled him constantly. But David spent his time with God. Out in the fields at night, tending the sheep. I imagine it was scary at time for a young boy to be out there alone. He would play his music, worship God and encourage himself in the Lord. When he got to the camp that day with food for his brothers, they mocked him again. Then David heard that giant Goliath mocking God, and a righteous anger rose up in him. He killed that Giant. He understood honor, and he knew who he was in God! He knew it so well, he was able to honor Saul, even when Saul was trying to kill him.