Could you? Would you? Really…

Last night I had a conversation with a friend, and they “suggested” that I might…ok…well actually they said that I “will” be martyred one day for the gospel…but it was going to be down the road.  And the day before, a prophet friend called to give me a word from God, a scripture, and also spoke to me about how Jesus told Peter on the shore, that one day his hands would be bound, then he would be led someplace he did not want to go…and this would be how he would die for Him. Yes, one day, he would be martyred on a cross, like Jesus.

In July, the Lord told me that He wanted to give me the keys to the Kingdom, but that it would cost me everything.  I kept asking Him, “what is everything?”  Could that include my very own life?

Then I remembered one time…years ago…probably around 1999, being at a meeting and the speaker saying, “There are some here that will be martyred for the sake of the gospel.” and I also remember I began to weep in the spirit uncontrollably…loud enough for the whole church to hear…

It became such a fear of mine after that…the fear that I would not be able to be brave, if the time came where I was to be martyred.  I began to ask other believers about it…all the time…”could you? what if God asked you to? would YOU be able to?”

Then someone said to me…or I read it somewhere…this story from Corrie Ten Boom

When I was a little girl, I went to my father and said, 
“Daddy, I am afraid that I will never be strong enough to be a martyr for Jesus Christ.” 
“Tell me,” said Father, 
“When you take a train trip to Amsterdam, 
when do I give you the money for the ticket? 
Three weeks before?”

“No, Daddy, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train.”

“That is right,” my father said, “and so it is with God’s strength. 
Our Father in Heaven knows when you will need the strength to be a martyr for Jesus Christ. 
He will supply all you need – just in time…”

Can I tell you…I love Jesus with all my heart, but the thought of being killed for Him…well…it really scares me…
I fear that I would not be able to…because I know that I am weak…

Could or would you die for Him?

Can you Feel the Fire?


I love this painting! Did you know that you really can feel your paintings?

I have been in secular art shows and felt the anointing of the Holy Spirit on paintings!  Paintings of things that had no Christian images, but still, I could feel His presence on them.   I have even boldly gone up to the artists and said, “You love the Lord!”   They would look at me funny, and say, “I do!  How did you know that?”   Other times I have seen art that would cause me to begin to weep and not be able to speak, because the pleasure of God was so great on their work, it would overwhelm me.

I was at one show, looking at some jewelry and all of a sudden, I could not contain the tears.  I had to leave this woman’s booth.  I was with a friend and they asked if I was ok, but I could not talk to them, I was too overcome with emotion.  I just KNEW that this woman LOVED Jesus, and that was all I could say, “She loves Jesus…”

My friend was curious, and went back to her booth later to ask her some questions.   He found out that, sure enough, she did love Jesus.  She had defected from her country and come to the US to be able to worship freely.  She was not sure how she would be able to support herself when she met a Christian that had taught her how to create jewelry.  She was so grateful, for him, because he helped her learn a way provide for herself.   She said she created her jewelry as worship unto Jesus!!

Someone came to me in a meeting once and asked me if I had felt my paintings.  I realized, I never had.   I feel His presence as I paint so strong sometimes I can hardly stand, but I had never felt Him on my art.  I was painting  “The Golden Eagle: Seer”, at a School of the Seers, and he said when I started painting, the anointing went out about 3 ft or so, and as I continued to paint, it became larger and larger.   I thought that was very interesting.  I also enjoyed watched him as he walked around my painting “feeling” it.

I had brought the Lion and the Lamb painting with me, a prophetic piece I created, where the crowns came at the last minute, by the Spirit.   I also remembered that when I was painting this piece, a woman felt led to walk up to see it closer during a break.  I was speaking with some women off the platform and watched her move towards the painting.  When she got about 10 ft or so away, she cried out and fell backwards.   The women I was speaking with saw it too.  I asked the woman later what happened, and she told me she had always wanted to be “slain in the spirit”, but did not trust a man or woman to do it, so God decided to use His presence on my painting to bless her.

The man asked me to come and stand in front of it.   He prayed for God to let me feel the anointing on my painting, and as I stood there, I did not know what I would feel, but to my surprise, I felt a Crown being placed on my head!!!!   Totally wrecked me!

After that, I went back to my “Golden Eagle: The Seer” painting and every time I would look at it, especially the eagle’s eyes, I could feel an anointing come on my eyes!   I felt like He told me that my painting was being used to release a seer anointing!

When I was painting the Lion and Lamb painting, I ree

I always experience my paintings prophetically, then worship and pray as I paint them.  I believe that God has me do this so that He can rest in them.  Just like a song can carry His presence, everything created as worship to Him, can carry Him too.

Is There Room for HIM?


     Been thinking about that, how there was no room for Him the night He was born;  even though it had been prophesied for so many years that He was coming.  A star even shone brightly to announce His arrival, wise men sought Him, angels appeared to Shepherds, yet, when He came, there was no place for Him.

He was the King of Kings, and could have been born into a castle, onto a throne, into a kingdom;  but He chose humility.  There was also no pomp and circumstance, He humbled Himself to come here…and He was laid in a manger.

     Before He even came He was hated and despised;  so much so, Herod tried to murder Him.   The “wise” men had told Herod they had seen Jesus’ star and He would be born.  In an attempt to protect his throne, Herod murdered all the boys trying to get to Jesus, but God sent an angel to warn Joseph to flee.
     After He started His ministry, He had no place to lay His head.  He had no home.  He had no wife or children.  He went to the garden to pray when the disciples went home to their families.

     He also understood rejection.  How many of us have felt the sting of rejection?  That feeling of not belonging, not being accepted?  I know I have, and it hurts.  I can see how someone would choose to take their life, because they feel they have no place to call their own.  Sometimes the pain can be unbearable.

And this was His life, from the moment He came.  And even now…He is still rejected today.

He has no form or comeliness;
And when we see Him,
There is no beauty that we should desire Him.
He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Think about it…who wants HIM?
     Nations don’t.  America, once, one nation under God, has become one nation without God.  So tolerant of everything…but Jesus and His people.   Schools don’t want Him, even though He is the Greatest Teacher that ever walked on earth, the Bible and prayer are forbidden.
     TV stations have to put a disclaimer if the show is about Him.   Today I watched CBN and the network had a message scrolling across the bottom saying they did not necessarily agree with what was being said on this paid show.  I never see that for any other type of programming, do you?
     Do churches really want Him?  Can you imagine if He actually walked into a church?  I imagine He would kindly be escorted out,  labeled a fanatic, lunatic, or extremist.
     Government doesn’t want Him, even though He is the King of Kings, and rules over everything.  Maybe He is too honest and just for them?Corporations reject Him.  Heaven forbid if you talk about Jesus at work.  You might end up in HR being reprimanded for being offensive.

    So where can He find room?  He can only find it in our hearts.  We have to make room for Him, and let Him make room in us for Him.   Do you make room for Him?  Do you let Him work Himself into you?  Does He call out to you, and yet you won’t come?

I want to encourage those that might be feeling rejected, like they don’t belong, that God has a purpose in it.   You just have to fight it and walk through the suffering, resting in the storm.   There is always a blessing on the other side, so don’t give up.  What we suffer through we gain authority over.   If you want to carry His love, like Him, you will be rejected.  If you want to carry hope, you will taste despair.  If you want to walk in great faith, then you will have many trials and tests to expand your ability to fight the doubt that will undoubtedly attack you!

Jesus came and experienced all of this for us, and has made a way for us to be part of His family;  to be reconciled to God, grafted in.   He says He has gone on to Heaven to make a place for us, and we are called to carry Him here, releasing Heaven on Earth.   He gave us the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us into all truth.  He invites us to come, eat and drink with HIM.

He is calling out to us, I ask you, will you make room for HIM and let Him make room in you for more of Him?

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He opened not His mouth;
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter,
And as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
So He opened not His mouth.
He was taken from prison and from judgment,
And who will declare His generation?
For He was cut off from the land of the living;
For the transgressions of My people He was stricken.
And they made His grave with the wicked–
But with the rich at His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was any deceit in His mouth.

Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief.
When You make His soul an offering for sin,
He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days,
And the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hand.
He shall see the labor of His soul,  and be satisfied.
By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many,
For He shall bear their iniquities.
Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great,
And He shall divide the spoil with the strong,
Because He poured out His soul unto death,
And He was numbered with the transgressors,
And He bore the sin of many,
And made intercession for the transgressors.

All that we have…


Picture I love the Christmas movie, the Little Drummer Boy. I love it, because he worshiped God with all that he had…and all that he had was a drum.   But he played it for the King, and he played his best for Him.

That’s all God wants from us. He just wants us to worship Him with all that we have. We may not be the best, or do everything perfectly, but he doesn’t care about that.  He cares about our heart.

One of my favorite parts of the Bible, is when the woman comes in and anoints Jesus. Pouring the costly perfume on his head and at his feet.  I love that we don’t really know who she is, only that she was a sinful woman, and that she wept, washing his feet with her tears and drying them with her hair.  She loved much because she had been forgiven much.

We can see the reaction of the others in the room, and we can imagine the smell as that pure nard filled the room.  To Jesus it was the fragrance of worship, but to the religious leaders that did not even know Who they were eating with…well…I imagine it stunk.  It’s easy, to stand back, and watch another  worship, judging them them and measuring their hearts.

Although the Bible says that the oil was worth a year’s wages, we really don’t know the true cost of what she poured on Him that day.

Like the little drummer boy, when he brought the wounded lamb before Jesus, he had no gift to bring, that was fit to give a King, but He just had to give Him something, He just had to love and honor Him.   So he played his drum with a pure heart…and the little lamb was healed miraculously.  Then, he was too, in that moment of pure worship, God had also set him free.   He had been so hurt and wounded, filled with hate, but now he was forgiven and redeemed by the Lamb…as he poured out his oil of worship to the King.

We are called to worship Him like that…with all that is in us, because that’s all we truly have to give him…even though, it will never feel like it is enough…still…He loves it!   And it is in our worship, that we might be set free!

Merry Christmas!!!!

Defeating Rejection with Dance!




Over the holidays I had a couple of things happen with family members where I felt rejected, my heart broke and I wept, so I went to be with the Lord to ask Him about it.  I have learned that pain will pile on and hurt us deeper when there are unhealed roots.   He started reminding me of all the people that have rejected me all through my life.  Family, friends, co-workers, boyfriends, employers, teachers, church members…and even myself.  There was so much pain there.

So the Lord had me write a list of all those that had rejected me to go through and forgive each one.  It was intense and hurt to remember them all, but when I was done, there was a huge release.   I also asked for forgiveness for any way I had rejected others.  I learned along the way that rejection has stages, first we are rejected, then we reject others, we also begin to fear rejection, then we reject ourselves, and the final stage is creating rejection around ourselves.  Being a seer, when I get around people, a lot of times I can feel their issues.  I feel rejection as a deep pain in a person’s heart and have seen the Lord remove a huge knife with the word rejection on it, as He set them free.  When the rejection gets to the final stage I can tell, because I will have a strong desire to reject them, push them away, avoid them…and I will have to work hard to love and accept them…that is where the warfare of Love comes in.


Tonight as I was thinking about it all, I remembered a heavenly experience God had given me.   In the vision, I was young, and out in a field with a group of girls, we were holding hands in a circle and dancing around…freely laughing, playing, and full of joy!   Then, for a moment I “looked” into their eyes to see if they “liked” me, and the young girl that was showing me around saw my heart and said to me, “It is ok, you are alright, there is no REJECTION here.”   This was profound to me.

All my life it seems I have been looking into other’s eyes to “see” if I was ok, but it was never their place to determine that for me.  God was reminding me, I am a citizen of Heaven, and where I come from, there is no rejection.  We are called to be like Him and He accepts us all, so rejecting others is actually a sin.  It is a tool of the enemy to cause us to be wounded, to divide us, to shut us down and shut us up.

When a person begins to reject others, that is when you will see the judging, critical spirit in them…you can almost feel them sizing you up.   They will also be very striving, performing, still trying to earn a position that God created them for. Religious spirits are like this too.  Jealousy and envy are in their hearts.  They will create cliques, factions, and walk as though they are better than others, creating an atmosphere of spiritual elitism and idolatry.   I believe this division is one of the greatest hindrances to the Lord moving and all of it has to die for Love and Acceptance to reign so we can be in unity as His body.


When I first started going to my home church, I would see people dancing together, loving one another.  I was afraid to step into the river.  I was not used to that type of freedom and acceptance, but now, I do not hesitate.  So, when I go to a different church to paint or minister, during worship, a lot of times I will invite others to dance in a circle with me…as the spirit flows on and through us…just like at my home church and just like I did in Heaven.  It is a time where HIS glory comes and we laugh and giggle just like we did in my heavenly vision.  Anyone can join us, and I constantly invite others to come into the circle.   The Lord comes on us so strongly as I do this, sometimes I will be unable to continue to stand, so I will fall out in the spirit and His GLORY will rest on me heavily as I lay there on the floor, laughing completely drunk in His Love.  A woman that I had danced with in a series of meetings recently came to me the last night I was there and said to me, “you bring so much love when you are here, and you make everyone feel so accepted.”


YESSSS, thank you Lord for revealing this and allowing this woman to encourage me!!!!  That is my heart for the church, (and even those outside of the church)…that is what I feel called to release…because I know, dancing like a child with others is warfare and an intercession of LOVE created to defeat rejection, to release liberty from the Kingdom of Heaven and bring unity to the body!!!!