Forgiveness, Time, Distance

Forgiveness should be given to everyone…time with you, to people who are truly repentant…and distance should be made between you and those people who are not.

I believe in forgiveness. Yes, I believe we’re called to forgive one another, but there has to be a balance. Jesus wants us to be a strong people, with good common sense, a healthy people who love themselves enough to protect their souls and teach others right from wrong, not enable them to sin against others.

So, when somebody, especially someone who calls themselves a Christian, does not love you and continues to hurt you…sure…you can forgive them, but then you can also sever all ties…and remove them from your life.

It’s ok to get as far away from them as you can…and protect yourself. It doesn’t make you a bad Christian it makes you wise. We don’t have to be martyrs in our personal relationships, that’s not healthy…

Jesus didn’t hang out with the devil…because he was his enemy…

David hid from Saul because Saul was trying to kill him. Sure, David still loved Saul, and he forgave him, but he also had wisdom…and protected himself.

There is such a thing as a martyr complex…or a victim mentality, and it causes people to stay in unhealthy abusive relationships and churches. It is not God, and it does not glorify Him. A lot of times it is done to avoid taking responsibility for your own life, or to glorify yourself, to prove how spiritual you are…but trust me, it does not, it is actually codependent, masochist and sick…and makes you look like a fool.

You can lay down your life as a missionary, because God told you to…and preach to people that will kill you, beat you, mock you or imprison you…that is not what I am talking about. You can choose to be around unbelievers that do not love you and reject you for the sake of the gospel…in order to win them to the Lord…again…not what I am referring to.

I am talking about people in the church staying in unhealthy situations with other believers, who are abusing them…and saying it is God. It is NOT God. Sometimes love must be tough, and you will have to take responsibility, and change so that the other people will learn and change.

Boundaries are of God. Expecting those you are in a personal relationship with to treat you in a way that is good and healthy, loving and honoring, respectful and courteous…is RIGHT…and it WILL glorify God!

Pushing The Trash Back!

Last night I had the weirdest dream…but it was kind of funny.  In the dream I went over to my neighbor’s yard and pushed their trashcan back into their yard.  They like to keep it on my property for some reason…and it irks me…but I would never do anything about it.  I am bad for turning the other cheek…when I should probably stand up for myself.  So I woke up from the dream thinking…ok that was really strange…but oh…I would love to do that!

So today a woman that bought a print from me called, we were having a nice phone conversation, and I heard someone blowing their leaves.  It kept getting closer and closer until I could hardly hear the person on the phone, so I got up to shut the door and see where the blowing was coming from, and it was the neighbor I had dreamed about…and he was right on the walkway to my front door.  I opened the door and screamed at him to “get out of my yard!!!”  I NEVER do stuff like that…it was very UNLIKE me…but honestly it felt good!

I have lived here for 20 yrs…and this neighbor has horrible boundaries with all the neighbors.  He comes on my property to do my yard work, even though I have asked him over and over to stop.  He has killed plants because he mowed over them or trimmed them wrong.  I have told him that I would prefer for him not to do that, unless he has my permission.  I dread going outside because I know he will come out and try to talk to me.  When I go outside I wear big headphones and play music so I cannot hear him or just point to the headset and shake my head when he tries to start a conversation with me.  I have told him that I do not want to have a friendship with him.  I believe he is very unhealthy…so I do not feel safe around him.

So, I did not remember the dream until after I calmed down from getting so upset with my neighbor…it seems to make sense now…but I have questions…

Why did I have the dream?

Since I had the dream, before it happened, then was it prophetic?

Was God warning me or giving me permission to stand up for myself?

What could I, or should I…have done differently?

Update:  A couple of days later I went to minister, and when I got home, “someone” had come and blown the leaves up into my porch.  I don’t know if it was because I was exhausted from ministering, or what, but that was it for me.  I marched right over and confronted my neighbor again.  This time his wife came to the door, because I heard him tell her to, and he denied blowing my leaves.  She did say he was worried I would slip and fall on the leaves in my driveway, but he did not blow them?  Anyway, I called the police and they are taking note of it.   I recorded the whole conversation, and told them that if they come on my property the police will get involved.  I put up a no trespassing sign too, and I IF he comes over, I am calling the police and they have told me they will serve him with trespassing charges.

I am tired of taking people’s trash.  I do not think being a Christian means you somehow can be abused by people.  I think Jesus was pretty direct with those that tried to entrap him.  He confronted Peter, and told “satan” to get behind him.  I just know my time of being a doormat is over.  Boundaries are of God…and you need to be concerned with yourself…and that plank in your eye.

Oh yeah, and keep your trash in your own yard!  🙂