For all my sensitive friends…

All my life people have said to me, “You are too sensitive!” I just always wanted to say back to them, “Well, maybe YOU are NOT sensitive enough!” Just saying that to someone seemed insensitive to me.

For the record, I just want to say…yes, I am sensitive…and God made me this way. Even as a child, I could not wear itchy clothes. I was terribly picky about my food. I was easily distracted…and late all the time. Lost things. I loved art, being outside in His creation, but, I could also look at a person and feel their pain; see inside of them, even as a child.

For many years, I hated myself because I was not like my brothers and sister. I wondered, “What is wrong with me?”

Now I know, I am sensitive because God wants me to be this way and it is a gift. Since I have been filled with the Holy Spirit, I have seen Him move through my compassion and sensitivity to love others in ways that just cause me to weep with joy and be filled with love. I have felt other’s pain and also felt as Jesus lifted it off of them. I have seen people healed miraculously.

So now, I embrace it! I pay attention to what I feel…because I know that is how God leads me.

Like the story of the Princess and the Pea, it was her sensitivity that told those around her that she was a true princess, because she felt that tiny pea under all those mattresses!

Few are Chosen



Esther is on my heart.
I believe she, and her cousin Mordecai were chosen for such a time as this, because they had the character to lead.
Vashti, the Queen did not, so she had to be removed.
She would not even come when the King called for her.   Her disobedience and rebellion might have infected all the women of the kingdom, so she had to be dethroned.   Leaders have to put those they are called to lead first, and live a life above reproach, or their sins will affect others they are leading.
Esther always submitted to wisdom.  She obeyed those God had placed in her life to help lead her into God’s purposes for her life.  
“Esther didn’t say anything about her family and racial background because Mordecai had told her not to.”
And she listened to Hegai about how to please the King,  “When it was Esther’s turn to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king’s eunuch in charge of the harem, had recommended. Esther, just as she was, won the admiration of everyone who saw her.”

Esther, A Night with the King

Even after Esther was queen, she “still did what Mordecai told her, just as when she was being raised by him.”
Even if it might mean she would lose her life, she trusted him when he told her to go to the King to save the Jews.  She was afraid, and even said to Mordecai:

“Everyone who works for the king here, and even the people out in the provinces, knows that there is a single fate for every man or woman who approaches the king without being invited: death. The one exception is if the king extends his gold scepter; then he or she may live. And it’s been thirty days now since I’ve been invited to come to the king.”

Mordecai exhorted her:

“Don’t think that just because you live in the king’s house you’re the one Jew who will get out of this alive. If you persist in staying silent at a time like this, help and deliverance will arrive for the Jews from someplace else; but you and your family will be wiped out. Who knows? Maybe you were made queen for just such a time as this.”

Esther sent back her answer to Mordecai:

“Go and get all the Jews living in Susa together. Fast for me. Don’t eat or drink for three days, either day or night. I and my maids will fast with you. If you will do this, I’ll go to the king, even though it’s forbidden. If I die, I die.”
Mordecai left and carried out Esther’s instructions.

Mordecai submitted to her too.

Picture She obeyed, prepared her heart, and went to the inner court, standing, where the King could see her.  She waited, and when he saw her, he was pleased, so he extended his scepter.  But still she approached him with reverential fear, honor and respect.  She also did not ask for what she wanted right away either, she just asked him to dinner.

Fasting caused her flesh to be submitted to the Holy Spirit and gave the Jews power to overcome the enemy.  She also gained more favor with the King.

Through it all, Haman’s plans to kill the Jews was exposed, and he was hung on the gallows he had built for Mordecai.  He was another one that was not submissive, like Vashti.  He was full of guile, trying to make a position for himself.  He wanted all the glory.  He hated Mordecai because he would not bow to him, but Mordecai obeyed God’s laws.  In the end, Mordecai was honored and promoted by the King to 2nd in command.

Mordecai was always a good man, so good, that he took in his orphaned cousin and cared for her.  His heart was to honor God, help Esther and his people.

Together, the two of them were able to save the Jews, giving them back their freedom by allowing them the right to defend themselves, and many were converted to Judaism.  So much so, it became dangerous not to be a Jew!

God is always looking for people He can promote to lead.  Submission to those with wisdom that are called to lead or have wisdom for you, putting others above yourself, crucifying your flesh, and having godly character…

all matter…

many are called, but few are chosen.